Saturday, January 21, 2012

Love + Commitment

You would be hard pressed to find a professional of any sort- writer, athlete, businessperson- that loves what they do but only engages in their craft sporadically.Find me one and I will surely give a Simply awesome prize. Kobe Bryant spends hours in the gym, "shooting between 700 to 1000 makes per day", investing in a sport that he loves. Each of us when we find something or someone that we love, want to consistently invest in that thing or that person...or do we?

I was reading an article from the Huffinton Post recently that totally nailed this idea, in the context of loving relationships. It asked if love or commitment was the most important to have in a relationship. Although many would argue that both are needed and are inextricably linked, the author made a good point in regards to how the concept of love has been connected to a set of emotional responses that do not necessarily give birth to particular actions, namely the choice to commit. Many people can give the flowers, send you the sweet text and essentially can go through the motions of 'love' without any consideration of commitment. I definitely that a person should feel the 'warmth and fuzziness' and have the 'butterflies' in his/her stomach but is that enough?

I will admit that I am a lover of love. 1 Corinthians 13 type of love. But not just the feelings involved but the seflessness and consideration that goes along with those emotions. It is simply not enough for me to say that I love something or someone and show no level of commitment and longterm investment. I sometimes wonder how modern society has made love such a surface experience, with such shallow expectations and expressions. Listen to mainstream radio or watch any sitcom on a major network. Apparently tatooing someone's name on your body is as committed as we are going to get. Sad!

The article also discusses the irrationality of love and the need for commitment as "commitment is not dependant on the heartstrings, it's dependent on a conscious choice you make".

My two cents: Invest in what you love. Feelings are not enough.

What say you? Are love and commitment the same? Different? Why are some folks able to 'love' but not commit?

"Love never fails." - I Corinthians 13:8

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Focusing on Who Matters

I have been reminded lately of how much time I have spent thinking, agonizing, or simply poring over situations, but most importantly people, that are not closely relevant to, concerned with or invested in my wellbeing. In particular, the birth of Ms. Blue Ivy Carter definitely helped my thought process. To see how invested my Twitter and Facebook feeds were in the reasons behind and accuracy of Beyonce's and Jay's baby girl's name, her birthplace, her trust fund, song written for her- blah blah blah- was overwhelming to me and disturbing. I would usually get enthralled in this typical celebrity- inspired feeding frenzy but this time, my mind went elsewhere. As I even considered thinking of a baby, of a couple who knows not a single thing about me or cares for my welfare, I began to think of all of the family members that I have, who have not heard from me in weeks, months and in some cases, years. I could not fathom Googling for information, doing cross analysis of the etymology of a name, nada. It all felt futile and I felt plain ol' guilty.

I know that we all have our diversions and distractions and the celebrity world can provide an outlet to our increasingly stressful and busy lives - I will be the first to confess that I have lived vicariously through many a celebrity. I know that our commentaries are not always malicious or delusional. I know that some of us can multitask, reading Huffington Post while on the phone with Grandma. I am simply not one of those talented people.

I promise I am not wagging my judging finger at any of you. I am far from perfect. I have not reached the peak of enlightenment in any realm. I just feel particularly challenged to spend more time in this new year affirming, loving, and thinking on the folks in my life that I have inadvertently pushed to the back burner. My priorities have been totally out of whack and I will be the first to admit: Change is an imperative.

Who will you call this week? To whom will you send an email or *gasp* handwritten note, just to say that you were thinking about them?

Monday, January 9, 2012

Time to Shine

Mediocre has become the status quo. In the effort to extinguish our own greatness, many of us spend inordinate amounts of time trying to convince people of how ordinary you are, not worthy of any positive attention or accolade. I used to think that I 'was' that person but there are tiny remnants of it still in me.

Thank God for the One Word challenge that I read this morning. Such a simple suggestion with profound impact on our concept of a new year and its endless potential. The word I would choose seconds after reading the blog post on the One Word 365 challenge rang loud and clear in my

mind, as if God took out his holy 'megaphone' in case I would let some emptier word fill my consciousness. SHINE. 2012 will be the year where I stop hiding, masking or diverting attention from my talents and abilities and simply live the life that God has called me to live. And that is simply one layer of meaning that I have found in my 2012 word. I am excited about the near and distant future.

So excited that I finally got around to starting this new blog. It is so timely and I am glad, like with many other decisions, that I did not hastily whip some mumbo jumbo together, for the sake of saying something.

What will be your 2012 word?

Let's shine, my lovelies.

"Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky" -Philippians 2:14-15