You would be hard pressed to find a professional of any sort- writer, athlete, businessperson- that loves what they do but only engages in their craft sporadically.Find me one and I will surely give a Simply awesome prize. Kobe Bryant spends hours in the gym, "shooting between 700 to 1000 makes per day", investing in a sport that he loves. Each of us when we find something or someone that we love, want to consistently invest in that thing or that person...or do we?
I was reading an article from the Huffinton Post recently that totally nailed this idea, in the context of loving relationships. It asked if love or commitment was the most important to have in a relationship. Although many would argue that both are needed and are inextricably linked, the author made a good point in regards to how the concept of love has been connected to a set of emotional responses that do not necessarily give birth to particular actions, namely the choice to commit. Many people can give the flowers, send you the sweet text and essentially can go through the motions of 'love' without any consideration of commitment. I definitely that a person should feel the 'warmth and fuzziness' and have the 'butterflies' in his/her stomach but is that enough?
I will admit that I am a lover of love. 1 Corinthians 13 type of love. But not just the feelings involved but the seflessness and consideration that goes along with those emotions. It is simply not enough for me to say that I love something or someone and show no level of commitment and longterm investment. I sometimes wonder how modern society has made love such a surface experience, with such shallow expectations and expressions. Listen to mainstream radio or watch any sitcom on a major network. Apparently tatooing someone's name on your body is as committed as we are going to get. Sad!
The article also discusses the irrationality of love and the need for commitment as "commitment is not dependant on the heartstrings, it's dependent on a conscious choice you make".
My two cents: Invest in what you love. Feelings are not enough.
What say you? Are love and commitment the same? Different? Why are some folks able to 'love' but not commit?
"Love never fails." - I Corinthians 13:8
They are not the same, as you know I was committed to a marriage with no love. I was willing to stay in it out of duty until I realized I was the only one really committing.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure where it all got screwed up but I suspect it was around the time people started dating and courting without parental permission, like in the days when everyone had a parlor or foyer where the dude had to sit and wait on the girl & her family to come sit with him before a chaperone accompanied them out on their date.
A man had to really work for a woman's hand, i.e. invest big time in courting her and her family.
But that's just me.